Unfinished Beginnings

Two weeks ago, I was the queen of unfinished beginnings. I wanted to feel successful, yet everywhere I looked I found evidence of the contrary. When have I turned into a slob, a thought appeared as I entered the living room. Piles of laundered clothes blanketed the couch. Today, I said to myself and walked into the kitchen, prickly crumbs sticking to my bare feet.

The kids sat at the table, cutting something out of paper, teeny puddles of milk sprinkled nearby. When will they learn to be neat? I wrung out a dish cloth and asked Marina to wipe it up, only to see it drop on the floor with a violent “No!” In the moment, I knew to summon my best recollection of Dyer and Sadghuru, but an equally oppressive “Now!” came out first.

The day had just begun, but what I wanted was for everyone to get back to bed. Or magically disappear. Either sounded equally delicious. Silence is all I needed. To wake up, brew some coffee and gather some thoughts. A vision of an old log house, a wood fireplace and a desk appeared in my mind’s eye. Rising squawking of my three angels in the background, I pictured sitting at that desk, weathered books and paper stacked neatly in the top left corner, looking out at the clear lake just steps away. I took a deep breath, allowing the quiet of the charmed location still my mind.

“Aaahhh!” a wild screech yanked me out of my reverie. “Marcus drAWED in my colouring booT!” I was back to square one. Back in the real world, I re-arranged my hair into the same boring braid, cooked eggs for breakfast and prepared for a gratitude exercise Jon and I introduced mere weeks ago. Not feeling overly grateful, I put on my winning face and urged everyone to think of something, but it was no use. The kids protested, and Jon and I took so long they left the table before we were able to utter a word. Having exchanged our typical c’est la vie smiles, we agreed to try again at dinner.

As the morning went on and the evidence of failure in all aspects of life mounted, I knew I had to accomplish something. If wiping the print-stained coffee table was all I managed to accomplish that day, I was going to be fine with that. I looked around, and long and behold the opportunity presented itself. Seated on top of the dryer was a pile of laundered socks that must have been there for months. In fact, they had been there for so long that the kids learned to forego looking in their drawers and run straight for the laundry room. It was time to eliminate that eyesore once and for all.

Having picked up the first sock, I began talking myself out of the endeavour. What is the point, the little voice questioned. Traitor. It had to be done. If not for the kids in desperate need of socks, then for me to feel a little more accomplished. The voice did not let up, bringing up all the past and present beginnings that never saw their end. A failed novelist. A so-so photographer. A half-arsed blogger. Argh! The name of a friend in neuroscience came up, and I wondered if he was able to isolate a gene that controlled the wretched doubter. If I could just turn you off...

Meanwhile, the pair count kept climbing: 28, 29… Feeling more determined, I proceeded to remove all the fluff from the foam bricks at the local play centre. Suddenly, I was done: 39 pairs of socks, 17 singles, a pair of mittens, a ball cap and a welder’s beanie. The humble beginning became a riveting success. I yelled yahoo and danced a jig. Figuratively. The queen of unfinished beginnings no more. And, rejuvenated, I pranced towards the kitchen to make lunch for my darlings…

BANANA NUT BREAD [A Meeting w/ Walter]

On a baking rampage for the last three days, I stood in my kitchen hammering out walnuts from their protective husks. Several days ago, we were fortunate enough to be introduced to two local farmers, one of whom grew and sold walnuts for $0.67 a pound.

Unable to resist the prospect of sampling locally grown drupes, I extracted a net of delectable ochre shells from a rusty vintage refrigerator, complementing a sizable purchase of four whole chickens and a dozen free-run eggs.

Several days later, my husband away at work and Marcus in expert care of competent ECE staff, I was online browsing through endless photos of mouthwatering banana bread until I stumbled across a recipe by Brown Eyed Baker. Her Peanut Butter-Banana Bread with Chocolate Chips looked appealing and proved to be a good guide in creating my own version of the treat.

Extracting a full cup of walnuts took 10 minutes. Using one of my husband's large hammers, I cracked shell after shell with seeming ease, thoroughly enjoying the process I last undertook as a young teenager. A mountain of nuts set aside, I prepared two mixing bowls in order to combine wet and dry ingredients separately before uniting them into one.

Opting out for organic wheat and almond in place of all-purpose flour, I mixed it with palm sugar, baking soda and sea salt. In a separate bowl, I whisked mashed bananas, home-made peanut butter, Walter's free-run eggs, buttermilk, coconut oil and vanilla extract.

MEASUREMENT	INGREDIENT
1 ½ cup	Organic wheat flour
½ cup	Almond flour
1 cup (28 shells)	Walnuts
3	Bananas, medium
½ cup	Peanut butter
½ cup	Raw palm sugar
2	Eggs
1/3 cup	Buttermilk
1/8 cup	Coffee, freshly brewed
3 tbsp	Organic coconut oil
1 tsp	Baking soda
½ tsp	Sea salt
1 tsp	Vanilla extract

Once consistent, I poured the wet concoction in with dry ingredients and whisked until fully integrated. I then relied on the past tip to use freshly brewed coffee and augmented the batter with 30 ml of warm unsweetened beverage, followed by a cup of quartered walnut seeds. Feeling optimistic about the final result, I inserted a sheet of parchment paper into a commercial-grade baking mold and poured in the batter.

The bread was now ready to be baked in a pre-heated oven for one hour at 350°F. To avoid over-browning, I mounted a tented piece of foil on top of the pastry at the 45-minute mark and continued baking until a tooth pick inserted in the thickest part retracted clean and dry. By then, the complex aroma spread around the house, making it tough to resist sampling what looked and smelled like my first successful banana bread, so I busied myself cleaning cookware and wiping kitchen surfaces to pass the time.

Within half-an-hour, I pulled out a cooled loaf and stripped away the sheet of parchment paper. Still warm, it was left to cool a touch longer until I felt confident to make the first cut. Spongy and moist, thanks to peanut butter and coconut oil, my banana nut bread looked and tasted just right. The cake, adorned by cross-sections of large walnut pieces, earned its place on my list of favourite recipes and could now be shared with the world...

Two days later, Walter's eggs vanishing at an unprecedented speed, I decided to make another trip to his farm with a freshly baked loaf of banana nut bread. Having replicated past success, I waited for it to cool while feeding and changing my 17-month-old and ventured out with a daring thought to bribe the man in a straw hat into offering feedback on sustainable farming. Eager to unearth the benefits of small-scale farming and sharing them with anyone willing to listen, I resolved to create a series of articles featuring growers in the immediate vicinity, who, I hoped, would clarify how their practices benefit each individual consumer and the province, as a whole.

Having arrived at the destination, we were immediately greeted by Walter. Good-natured and intrinsically curious, he proceeded to ask questions about our life in the Okanagan, revealing details of his own family's history along the way. A touch hesitant at first, Marcus began exploring the vast space of an organic orchard, testing the small puddle next to a brick-red storage house, climbing two big steps leading onto a spacious deck and taking off towards an old swing hanging from a mighty branch of an ancient tree.

Trying to keep up, we walked in the same direction toward a patch of land where Walter, among other things, cultivated lovage. Brought by one of his German customers, it grew tall and resembled a weed until I recognized a familiar aroma emanating from its leaves, the smell later recognized to be that of Maggi bouillon cubes. As if in exchange for banana bread, I received a generous bunch of stems and was instructed to utilize it in the stuffing the next time I roasted one of his chickens. I agreed and collected Marcus, now unwilling to leave, from a nearby flower patch.

On our way home, elated by a close interaction with the very man whose chicken, eggs and walnuts fed our family on more than one occasion, I thought of the pure delight that making friends with neighbours provided that day. Segregated from real people, I spent time indoors, fearful of afternoon tête-à-têtes and unable to integrate into the new community. Life was passing me by, so I made a promise to get closer with neighbours and reach out to seeming strangers in the hopes to build trust and learn from their lessons. 

Cited Sources:

http://www.browneyedbaker.com/2013/01/23/peanut-butter-banana-bread-recipe-chocolate-chips/

STRAWBERRY-RHUBARB PIE [A Two-Day Marathon]

In peak season since May, strawberries and rhubarb flooded fresh produce aisles of every grocery store across the province. Well aware of the potential toxicity of conventionally grown strawberries, I waited until a routine trip to a local health food store yielded a container of organic fruit and several burgundy stalks.

At home, I browsed the web for a few guidelines and began mixing the dough for my very first strawberry-rhubarb pie. Armed with a hand-held mixer, I combined flour with softened butter, coconut oil, a free-run egg, palm sugar, salt, vanilla extract and lemon juice. Once the ingredients appeared thoroughly mixed, I gradually poured in cold filtered water to moisten and chill the resulting concoction.

MEASUREMENT	INGREDIENT
1 cup	Organic wheat flour
1 cup	Organic corn flour
¼ cup	Unsalted butter
1	Free-run egg
2 tbsp	Coconut oil
¼ cup	Cold filtered water
2 tbsp	Raw palm sugar
½ tsp	Sea salt
1 tsp	Vanilla extract
3 tbsp	Lemon juice

Dry at first glance, the batter took shape with gentle kneading and could now be refrigerated. As I opened a heavy Samsung door, a whiff of cool air rushed out and swaddled my fatigued body. For a brief moment, I envied a lonesome jar of pickles tucked away behind a head of celery and left-over dinner. Long forgotten, it stood dormant, lost in the vast frigid space of a French door ice box, an attractive hide-away for a housewife weakened by amplifying demands of a growing family.

As if distraught by his master's neurotic musings, Bob rushed off a large bright-orange leather sectional, causing me to snap out of my daydream and carry on with the project. After all, the time during Marcus' two daily naps is all I had to live a life of my own, free of chronic obligation to tend to others. 

Content with the progress, I pulled out a large cutting board- a fairly recent addition to my collection of kitchen tools- and began quartering de-stemmed strawberries and chopping pre-washed rhubarb. Sharpened a day earlier, a large knife sliced through plant flesh with remarkable precision and speed, completing the task in record time. I then combined four cups of fruit and vegetables with the remaining ingredients and let stand for a few minutes, mixing periodically to ensure consistency. 

MEASUREMENT	INGREDIENT
2 cups	Organic strawberries, quartered
2 cups	Organic rhubarb, chopped
¼ cup	Raw palm sugar
3 tbsp	Tapioca
6 tbsp	Lemon juice

Eager to see and taste my first strawberry-rhubarb pie, I proceeded to roll out the dough, using a slightly bigger piece for the bottom crust. Despite replacing half of the required amount of wheat flour with a gluten-free variety, I was able to transfer the entire base sheet into a 9" oven-safe glass plate without it tearing or crumbling. 

Pie filling neatly in its place, I rolled out and perforated the second sheet using an icing tip to mark the middle and miniature cookie cutters to make several butterfly, bear and fish cutouts, carefully arranging them on top of the crust for a 3D effect. Using my thumbs, I sealed the edges and placed the plate in an oven pre-heated to 425°F for 5 minutes, reducing the temperature to 350°F immediately after and baking for 45-50 more minutes or until the filling started to bubble and the crust browned.

Elated by the results, I resolved to make a gluten-free version for my in-laws, who have been sharing living space with us since the end of February, the very next day. Keeping tabs on the sugar content, as in a prior experiment, I combined organic corn, amaranth and almond flour, added an extra egg yolk to mimic gluten and mixed the batter. All other ingredients remained the same.

MEASUREMENT	INGREDIENT
1 cup	Organic corn flour
½ cup	Amaranth flour
½ cup	Almond flour
¼ cup	Unsalted butter
1	Free-run egg
1	Free-run egg yolk
2 tbsp	Coconut oil
¼ cup	Cold filtered water
2 tbsp	Raw palm sugar
½ tsp	Sea salt
1 tsp	Vanilla extract
3 tbsp	Lemon juice

As before, I transferred the ball of dough into the fridge to chill and began working on the filling. This time, however, I decided to pre-cook the mixture in the hopes to reduce the overall baking time and prevent the crust from over-browning. Within 10-15 minutes of cooking on the stove, the fruit and vegetable mixture released enough juice to blend with tapioca powder separately to avoid clumping. Carefully, I filled two of my smallest measuring cups with liquid from the pot and combined it with tapioca in my Magic Bullet before pouring it back into the mixture.

Unbaked gluten-free crust w/ a pre-cooked and blended filling

The filling was ready and was set aside to cool. Meanwhile, I rolled out two crust sheets, taking extraordinary care to keep them from cracking. In the absence of gluten and its typical substitutes like gums and starches, the dough refused to cooperate and had to be rolled in thicker sheets. The same baking plate in immediate proximity to my crust, I quickly transferred it in, filled with cooled fruit mixture and covered with the top plain sheet, using the same thumb technique to seal the edges.

Since the filling was already cooked, I baked the pie at 425°F for 10 minutes, reducing the heat immediately after to 400°F and baking for 20 more minutes or until the crust turned light brown. Unfortunately, I followed an online tip to brush the top crust with an egg white and watched it crack in front of my eyes, reminded once more of the peculiar nature of gluten-free batter.

Baked gluten-free crust w/ a pre-cooked and blended filling

A slice of warm home-made pie adorned my dessert plate as I edited a plethora of photographs taken in the past 48 hours. Coupled with freshly brewed Colombian coffee, the sinful treat melted away piece by piece until nothing but a few crumbs remained... 

GOURMET MEALS FOR $5 OR UNDER: MEAL 20 OF 25

SEAFOOD CHOWDER
W/ HOME-BAKED BREAD

Total Cost: $4.74/serving

Total Preparation Time: 1 hr 15 min

As the day wore off and the residents of a growing lake community succumbed to early summer's heat, I plotted another outing to Real Canadian Superstore to obtain pricing on ingredients for my next affordable meal.

Owned by the largest Canadian food retailer with more than 1,050 grocery stores sprawled across the nation, it offers a great variety of conventional and organic produce at competitive prices, earning its status of a prime shopping destination among many Canadians.

Shopping at Superstore is familiar, and that prompted the decision to base this and subsequent recipes from GOURMET MEALS FOR $5 OR UNDER series on its product offering and pricing, despite my personal divergence from nationwide conglomerates in favour of small local producers.

At onset, the primary goal of the series was to prove that eating healthfully is neither bland nor prohibitively expensive. However, it was equally important to reach a large audience of Canadians, making it essential to relate to the shopping habits of an average working- to middle-class family. Therefore, presenting meal concepts with cost reference to a favoured one-stop shopping location seemed appropriate.

A multitude of equally grand ideas roaming in an unstructured fashion, I did my best to prepare for the trip ahead and within hours had an exhaustive price list to help determine the cost of a new delectable dish. Inspired by my husband's recent fishing expedition, much of his catch still in the freezer, I resolved to make seafood chowder with a side of home-baked bread.

The process began by browsing the Internet in search of visual stimuli. A comfort food for many, seafood chowder, with and without the use of dairy, appeared in hundreds of colourful images, provoking my salivary glands to respond in a natural manner. Suddenly, I sprang into action by arranging my work space and arming myself with a knife, a large cutting board and a pen to record each stage of the imminent mayhem.

First, I minced a collection of vegetables, except for cauliflower, and browned them in a large pot. Having used a fair number of mushrooms that tend to absorb fat quickly, I added a second tablespoon of butter, although some recommend adding water to prevent porous fungi from locking in grease. Within 5 minutes, I reduced the heat to low and added two tablespoons of gelatinized chicken broth and two ounces of Sovereign Opal, a white wine variety unique to the Okanagan Valley.

MEASURE	WEIGHT (g)	INGREDIENT	COST PER PACKAGE ($)	TOTAL COST ($)	COST PER SERVING ($)*
2 tbsp	50	Unsalted butter	4.87/lb	0.54
1	30	Shallot	2.48/283 g	0.26
½	50	Carrot	0.88/lb	0.10
N/A	50	Celery	1.27/bunch (720 g)	0.09
N/A	30	Orange Bell pepper	2.98/lb	0.20
N/A	30	Yellow Bell pepper	2.98/lb	0.20
N/A	150	White mushrooms	2.89/lb	0.95
N/A	20	Leeks	2.98/bunch (480 g)	0.12
N/A	150	Cauliflower	3.28/head (1 kg)	0.49
N/A	12	Cilantro	0.97/bunch (135 g)	0.09
1 cup	240 ml	10% cream	2.89/l	0.69
2 cups	480 ml	1% milk	2.33/l	1.12
3 tbsp	28	Organic corn flour	5.90/kg	0.17
2 oz	N/A	White wine	11.99/bottle (750 ml)	0.95
		Salt & spices		0.10
TOTAL				6.07*	1.52

*Makes 4 servings

It was now time to prepare seafood. Unlike its raw counterparts, canned baby clams were ready to be incorporated into the vegetable mix, so I unloaded the entire can into the pot, stirred and covered with a lid. Having noticed a few bones in my cod and unwilling to overcook my scallops, I decided to process them separately by baking cod and sole wrapped in individual sheets of aluminum foil for 15 minutes and lightly searing scallops in a small frying pan.

MEASURE	WEIGHT (g)	INGREDIENT	COST PER PACKAGE ($)	TOTAL COST ($)	COST PER SERVING ($)*
N/A	200	Snapper	15.90/kg	3.18
N/A	150	Sole	13.89/kg	2.08
1 can	142	Baby clams	2.49/can (142 g)	2.49
N/A	125	Scallops	14.98/400 g	4.68
TOTAL				12.43*	3.11

*Makes 4 servings

Fish in the oven, I added a cup of half-and-half cream and two cups of partly skimmed milk to the vegetable mix and stirred. Although many recipes call for more cream, I chose to use lighter dairy and gluten-free organic corn flour as a thickening agent. One might also choose to use plant-based alternatives like coconut milk or something altogether different like tomato paste. 

Separately, I steamed cauliflower stalks and blended them with some of the liquid from the pot before pouring all back in. On one hand, it acted as another thickening agent; on the other, it replaced starchy potatoes that are so often used in chowder recipes. It is also worth mentioning that blending flour with cauliflower eliminated the risk of clumping, had I attempted to manually mix it into the chowder.

Once cooked and deboned, the fish was added to a now aromatic blend of vegetables, dairy and clams, followed by large quartered scallops. The desired thickness was reached within five or six minutes and I turned off the heat.

Earlier in the day, I mixed the bread dough in my Breadman and let it rise for an hour before whipping it into the shape of a baguette and baking it at 375°F in a pre-heated oven for approximately 30 minutes or until fully risen and browned. Unfortunately, I do not own a baguette baking tray, so my bread came out somewhat varied in thickness, but the blunder hardly affected the taste or the visual appeal.

MEASURE	WEIGHT (g)	INGREDIENT	COST PER PACKAGE ($)	TOTAL COST ($)	COST PER SERVING ($)*
3 cups	132	Whole wheat flour	8.97/bag (5 kg)	0.24
1	N/A	Egg	2.47/dozen	0.21
½ cup	120 ml	1% milk	4.44/4 l	0.13
½ cup	120 ml	Water	N/A	N/A
3 tsp	45 ml	Grape seed oil	4.53/750 ml	0.27
1 tsp	2.83	Bread machine yeast	7.98/227 g	0.10
		Salt & sugar		0.10
TOTAL				1.05*	0.11

*Makes 10 thick slices

Cooled by the time I began cooking my chowder, the bread was ready to be sliced at a moment's notice. Dinner could now be plated, filling and affordable at $4.74 per serving, which can easily be reduced below $4.00 by replacing scallops with shrimp and snapper with basa, tilapia and other less expensive types of fish. 

	TOTAL COST ($)	COST PER SERVING ($)
GRAND TOTAL	19.55	4.74

Cited Sources:

http://www.loblaw.ca/English/About-Us/company-overview/default.aspx

http://cookingfortwo.about.com/od/techniques/tp/A-New-Way-To-Cook-Mushrooms.htm